The Bone Collector

This is a true story that I wrote about for the prompt "He had an extra refrigerator for". Remember, this is a true story!

A few years ago Josh, his painfully boring roommate, Jessica, and I went out for a night on the seedy town to shake her up and get out of her comfort zone. After hitting a few bars on that strip of 28th between Burnside and Sandy, we made our drunken way to Luckys.

We walked into the dimly lit bar and noticed that there were only a handful of people hanging out but what they lacked in quantity they made up for in personality. We took a seat at the bar and the bartender came up to us asking what we wanted to drink. She was wearing a T-shirt that offered 25 cent mustache rides and her left arm was in a cast. She couldn't have been more than 21 herself but carded us and didn't make note of the fact that Josh's ID had expired. She just went through the motions and brought us 3 PBRs and 2 whiskeys on the rocks.

From the other side of the bar, a woman who could have been 35 or 72 started shouting incoherently waiving her fists for effect. The bartender calmly explained "that's Sharon over there, don't mind her, she's been here since last night."

"She's exaggerating, right," Jessica asked. Josh and I shrugged, we had no idea what universe we had walked into.

We sat at the bar getting drunker and enjoying the people watching when Jessica began her woe-is-me routine and why can't I get laid when two guys sitting next to us suddenly joined the conversation. One of them used Jessica's gripe as an in while the other made a beeline for Josh. "You're gay, right" he opened.

"Um..yea?" Josh replied.

"Are you into human bones?" he asked.

"WHAT?" we shouted in unison.

"Bones. Are you into bones?"

"What kind of bones?" Josh asked, as if there was a right answer to this absurd question.

"Arm, leg, skulls. I have a collection of them at home."

"You have a collection of human bones? In your house?" I asked in amazement.

"Yes," he answered as if this was the most natural conversation we had ever taken part in.

"Where do you keep them?" I asked.

"In my refrigerator".

"You have human bones in your fridge? Next to the mustard?" Josh asked.

"No. I have a separate refrigerator for the food."

Josh and I were stunned. How do you respond to something like that. Josh looked at me with a look of mortification on his face and said to me "he has a refrigerator for human bones in his house." I assume my look was one that said "this can't be happening, he can't be serious."

Through all of this, there was one thing that I needed to know. "What happens when you bring a guy home for the first time and you show him your bone collection?"

"He either runs away screaming or he sucks my cock," he who would eventually become known as the bone collector responded. "Why? Do you want to come see it?" he asked me while staring at Josh.

"Um..no. Thanks. I think we were just going to be leaving anyway"

I noticed that the bartender had been eavesdropping at this point. I looked at her to confirm that this was actually happening. Clearly she had heard this all before as she just shook her head and walked away to pour Sharon another cocktail.

"Where do you live? I can give you a ride," he asked.

"It's walkable," Josh said kindly.

"It's safer," I blurted.

"Well, if you ever want to hang out and see the collection..." he trailed off as he pulled out his wallet and handed Josh his card.